im still trying to pick myself up after the incident...everyday finding new things to try..new things to do....we've been 3 weeks apart frm each other n still goin on...im still awake for my bloggie...nowadays gt nothing much to write coz she hardly talks bout herself...still picking up the pieces of loneliness...i read 3 big books on social life as a teenager...and this does happens...pple like me tend to get depreesed n sad often over small things..bt its who u are in the end that matters...friends are like a a tree..it will grow n grow n grow...bt that trunk remains one forever supporting the rest....i guess now that im learning more about life,..it has given me great opportunities to look for..greater perspective..i guess im maturing even more..broadening my mind set..seperating truth n fiction....seperating bad and evil..seperating love and hatred....its not just the mind that speaks..its the heart..when a heart tellsu what to do,u have to do it..like it or not....if its nt for her,i wouldnt be who i am nw....nw im venturing more to the outer world...giving myself chances after chances to correct my mistakes and shenanigans....life suck indeed only when u stop trying..if u keep on trying,thats when u never fail to learn....one thing that life has to offer me is tthat i have an amazing friend...yes we no longer keep in touch like we used to,BUT guess its just my bad luck...well...there are always many ways in to achieve that gold...as long she's around,it will b fine for me....

the world nowadays has changed..people see colour to love someone...well that is a fact n rather nt fiction at all...the white with the white..or the swan with the swan...just like an unending hymn of novelty that brought the word 'looks' ....yes looks can be deceiving BUT if u r well enough to be prepared,then life will actually fall on ur side just like a fallen leaf....gratitude is what u get of a fren like her..always there for u..and u know that u r always there for her...personally,its like a melancholic dram that nvr ends...sarcasm after one another......well that is life my friend..THAT IS LIFE...

if it gives u thorns,just take it...its thorns that will start your life...in reality,its benefits are even more........standing away frm her is a torture...sitting beside her is a pain...when u're away,u miss her so much till ur heart burns...when u're near her,u think of her feelings whether your presence is welcomed or not.....after all we are different bt one thing we share in common..our wits n blood are the same n meant for the same purpose....its a natural thing.....thats why im nt afraid to tell her i miss her coz i do and i know the consequences....thats what life can offer..and thats what u can take...seize the gold n reject the metal....if there's one thing in life that i could say is i love u shasha with all my heart...be there for u until the end of time even if death do us part...being ur friend is a blessing...thnx!

love n hugs,
mel

ALOHA, FIRST TIME BLOGGING WITH PHONE..DAMN HARD..SO I WILL WRITE 2MORROW..LOVE U A LOT..

today was ok lah....download a movie called 'the uninvited'...really nice movie...u cant guess the plot at all....its an ending that nvr can be seen...hahaha..creepy horror flick...then i was in fb all day...xercise today....man i've gt 4 packs...the other 2 is on the way..hahaha....im growing facial hair..plan to trim it 2morrow..life of a bachelor who is jobless at the moment...i did nothing lah basically...listen music..download music..play music..thats all preety much..i need ideas on hw to spend my day...really need help on that....oh n this sunday i'll be goin out for an outing..church excursion to dataran pahlawan for lunch..visiting some museum n then bowling at MP...plan to apply job at Brands Outlet in DP........hope i'll get it...looking forward for the xcursion though...me+julz+benji+ unc.D + the youths...sure gonna be gempak lah...esp. when april ' the mulut murai' tay is tagging along..hahaha....(no stephanie) dnt sweat bout it...hahaha...

my dentist appointment is 2morrow in the morning..changing my braces to a different colour....i'll b goin to church in the evening...n i hope my aunt takes me to the gym in the morning tomorrow...gt towork ut...sha says im fat n i gt belly..im gonna prove her wrong..hahahaha..love her so much....when the nxt time she meets me,she's gonna shock...hahaha.........planning to change my hairstyle too...still dunno wat to do yet...my pimples has decreased to 45%.....still gt marks all over my face..it can be removed soon...need to start a special care for face....n soon im gonna look different..bt my heart will forever be the same..FOREVER!!! fairness is nt an impossible thing..my face is brighter now (sweat!) hahaha....a bit only lah...my mood is different(trying to cope with the fact that i have to msg sha via fb only...) i think i wanna go for a gentleman look..(nt like azim at all)....more of a shane ward...(i noe its weird).....bt im nt gonna be bald or keep short hair....just wanna be charming...like a gentleman...coz i gt the height,have the rite body( i think i syok sendiri nw) n definitely have the music..hahaha....i can slow dance( oooo looking forward to dancing with u sha)....

my room is neat nw...i fold my clothes nowadays (wash them too)...trying to be a complete guy...let me check my list:

washing own clothes (done)
do hse chores (done)
music (have it all along)
sports ( hahaha..pls lah..i love sports)
being independent (done,went to so many camps..go concerts n perform)
dancing ( hell yeah..i love slow dancing)
height ( ok lah)
body size (still working on this one)
job ( aha..u gt me...still havent yet)
socializing ( nt bad lah)
communicating with pple ( aha..i do it often)
emotions (still working on that too)
style ( that depends...i have a lot of shirts n t's too.....so far all say i look good xcept julz,
my sis, and my ever idiotic cousins)
shoes ( i have sneakers,school shoes,sports shoes and hard leather shoes)
knowledge ( yeah bout this...haha..i think i have enough lah to be a gentleman)
relationships ( im nt married..just have frens only esp. my best fren)
religion ( surely!)
wealth ( im nt rich k..just an ordinary person trying to make a living and dream big)
hobbies( aha..gt lot of hobbies)
treating the ladies ( hahahaha...God knows hw i treat them...hahaha..love this so much)

*adapted from Forbes 2009: How to be a Gentleman in 20 Ways

hahahaha...still gt stuff that needs to be improved here....basically im nt ready yet..bt soon...i promise...just to shock everyone..i love surprises....

hey shasha...love u a lot k..still hoping to hear frm u everyday...if ur bill is settled..pls just send me a msg every nite..just one long gdnite msg....really hoping for it...keeping my fingers crossed...actually idnt know wat to write today...im blank so forgive me if i had been syiook sendiri..hahahaha...bt i do mean it..i want to change...

love u babes...
" a word cant describe relationship and compassion..a song cant describe feelings..only a heart speaks for itself that changes the whole idea of love that is kept close for a lifetime "

heart u always and forever.....

i will play music all day when you are by my side.............

mysweetheart

hahaha..today was a nice day for me...did nothing in the morning...watch tv non stop like hell..then internet too...as usual lah...then in the evening,i chatted wif manda via msn...then we remembered our flashback...all the truth came out after years...she broke up with me coz i was clsoe tos shahira....she told me that there was once when we were suppose to go to lab n i didnt wait for her...she said that i followed sha n didnt stay for her....i laughed..hahaha...i didnt knew it happened..hahaha..she told me that i became close to sha thats y she left me n went for ken...we gt a lil touchy juz nw while chatting...hahaha...then i kept on talking bout sha n she said stop it!!!!she dont want to hear anything more bout sha...i was like ok...somebody's getting jealous... and dear bloggie,today i've learnt a lesson in life..my life inw is awesome...gt a good fren which i know that she will nvr disappoint me at all..my one n only fren sha...and today i thanked God for giving me her...i closed my eyes n just thought of her n juz kept on thanking God....she's special to me...thats all i know....sha when are u gonna realize that u r my everything...its ok...i'll be there for u k...anytime anywhere....u can count on me...nw happy music is filling my head nw..nw u give me a better perspective to look at, sha...thnx for ur call... God is great..i was just thinking of u n u called me rite nw..haha...God is indeed great....thnk u a lot sha...still hoping to take u out for movies n stuffs...im gonna work n after my pay,im gonna belanja u..u must nt refuse it ok...im goin to work juz for us to go lepak...hahaha...we must go for swimming too...then go makan..then movie...then go shopping...i just wanna be by ur side...its a special thing to hang out with u...oh this only happens after i gt my license k...dnt worry,nt long summore....probably nw im more happy writing this coz im hearing new happy music..usually i'll hear sad songs n write blog...nw my whole selection of songs r totally different...just dunno y...bt nw when i think of u..i'll smile to myself n just go crazy....hahaha...sha,wat have u done to me? but i love this feeling...i shall call it the sha-ish feeling.....hahahaha......im happy sha...everynite i'll still text u as usual...dont have to reply to me when it is nt necessary k....

LOVE U A LOT......... (hearts n hugs) ------> my sweetheart

And girl you're my one love, my one heartMy one life for sureLet me tell you one time(Girl, I love, girl I love you)I'ma tell you one time(Girl, I love, girl I love you)And I'ma be your one guyYou'll be my #1 girlAlways making time for youI'ma tell you one time(Girl, I love, girl I love you)I'ma tell you one time(Girl, I love, girl I love you)..............
yes indeed u r my number 1...nw i dicovered u r a drug to me..im an addicted to u...aha...remember when u said that we should keep in touch via facebook n e-mail...thats when i think of u each day of hw imsuppose to go through this phase again...i seriously thought of u like everytime..even in the car with my mom,i would just think hw im gonna be without talking to u...u know whats the best solution..i msg u n u dnt reply to me unnecessarily k...bt i will b always waiting for that 1 msg of yours...i hold my phone the whole time in my hand basically hoping for ur msg...can i say something? y are u so addictive? u know what it feels when a drug addict dont get his drugs...all the pain he suffers...lately,i watched a hindi movie..its called wake up sid...its about this guy who enjoys his life to the max...he goes partying everyday n he neglects his studies...then his results were out n he failed terribly...he went out of his hse n found a girl..she was complete stranger to him...but he made frens with her...she's new to the city to find a job,n juz want to be free...so the hero basically finds trouble with his family n moves in to his new fren hse...just imagine 2 complete stranger living in a hse...its bcoz of that trust they have...they shared a hse...the hero was a sloth coz he kept the hse dirty...so each time the fren comes back frm work,she cleans the whole hse of the mess he makes..in the end the guy learns to be independent n he even learnt to find his own income...all thnks to his fren here...all bcoz of this complete stranger which results in them being the best fren for life...
i realised that my life was similar too...till i met u,i didnt know i couuld do more n reach out to more things...if it wasnt for u,i wouldnt be doing wat im doing...did i tell u the story where i was in the operation theatre for my op of the white blood cell thing...the moment i entered the operatrion theatre,i thought of u..i swear...i dont know y...the doctor just ask me to think of someone and i thought of u...the nxt thing i know the operation was over...that showed hw imporatant u were to me....u just take every breathe of me...stealing it like there's no more air...u r just that..u r amazing...
if i died that day,i would die thinking of u..i noe it sounds creepy,but i would be blessed to die thinking of u...
hey baby,dont sweat bout the msg thing k...u juz msg me when u need me k...i will try to learn to live by minimising the msg...bt pls msg me every nite...pls do that k...pls...coz u know i would suffer without u.......u know that rite...i feel pity for me...no matter hw strong i am,i will still tumble when u r in front of me...

And girl you're my one love, my one heartMy one life for sureLet me tell you one time(Girl, I love, girl I love you)I'ma tell you one time(Girl, I love, girl I love you)And I'ma be your one guyYou'll be my #1 girlAlways making time for youI'ma tell you one time(Girl, I love, girl I love you)I'ma tell you one time(Girl, I love, girl I love you)

love u baby.....

i've waited all my life for a friend that can truly understand me for who i am and not what i am...that very moment came when i was 15...that was a very special year...the one that can just divert ur life to every direction...she wasnt just a somebody...she was a girl that i knew i could just pour out my troubles to...she was the one always waiting for me at a corner because she knew that each time i had trouble,i would go back to her....a chubby face,cute nose and amazing eyes was all she possessed...it may seem as if she is a celebrity, BUT she is not..she is my best friend..(please pause for a while,im running out of tissues ady..i need to wipe these tears)...just picture a picture perfect morning..when the sun would begin to rise on a new day..well she was basically just that...she was always early to school...i remember when i would always be by her side doing/copying yesterdays homework....well...that was who she is...she was an independent person and every one depended on her...she would just come to school with her bottle hanging by her shoulders with books on her hands..and that red/maroon pencil case which she always had.......at a first look of her,u might think she is a person who is not capable of doing things..well u are wrong indeed...she took up all her challenges in life and just never had time for herself...part time student,part time daughter and a part time friend...she managed to do her roles successfully....growing with her was always fun..we would quarrell over small things....and sometimes she would burst into tears...yes its always my fault...thats what they say...yes some of it were mine..i know i've hurt her a lot in my life...but doesnt matter at all...because each time we fought,we knew that we bacame more bonded to each other...and were able to trust each other....i dont know what she thinks of me deep down in her heart,BUT what i do know is this, i trust her more than my parents and anybody u can ever think off...we became very close to each other and i knew that she became a part of me....on the FEBRUARY 14th,2007 , we bacame officially best frens on earth...from that day on, i decided that she was everything in my life...and i will protect her too as a best friend....she was just so meaningful in my life...she was like a musical note that always sounds in ur ears...she was a special musical note to me...ever so dearly,ever so loving and ever so faithful...i still can remember when she always shouted at me for disturbing her...and there was once where she thought i took her blue coloured faber castell mechanical pencil....till then she found out that her mom is the one who took it...i had a great laugh...then from that day onwards,i wrote poems bout her...i compose 3 songs for her....she was just to great to tell of...she coloured my life every single day without fail...sometimes she colured my life with sadness and sometimes hapiness...BUT i was an idiot....i didnt really took the time to tell her how i felt bout her...how i really feel...i just cants ay how i really feel bout her..i was just too scared that she might just leave me...i've learnt a lot frm her...she was just too good to me...i always put her decision ahead of me....until the last syllable,she is still my best friend now..although spm is over...we still keep in touch..by messages...till today i've never let her know how i feel bout her...she maybe thinks that im that ordinary guy,that boring person,that GUY!!!! juz an ordinary guy....without fail each day i comment her on my fb....she nvr commented on my fb profile bt i nvr complained....coz i get it that im just boring....yeah many people think im boring..MELVIN SYLVESTER - THE BORING AND LAMEST GUY!!!! i knew that long time ago...that is why i i hateshowing off my blog to anyone..i hate people at times..i hate my screwed up life sometimes......im boring and i dont know how to cure this stupid habit of mine....i disturb people a lot...bt i dont want them to think im irritating them... anyways, i still dont know what she thinks of me..all i know is that she is the greatest person i ever met..forever and always...she's craved in my heart like a tatoo...she means a whole damn lot to me...and i dont want to lose her...i quit so many thing in life for her..i quit being lazy...she just thought me to appreciate life...that is why i feel lonely when she dont communicate with me in anyway...i feel so lonely,cold,so dark when she's nt around..its like my whole emotion stirs and become sad and depressed...i would juz cry over her at home evry nite when i think of her...i really feel lonely without her presence..i just dont know how to live without her...writing this too makes me cry....she is somewhat special and i know i will never ever ever regret being with her by her side..i've gotta end this quick...i cant control my tears already....love u sha!

thought bout it real hard...

i couldnt control myself last nite...im sorry....sha if u're seeing this,i want u to know this.....eversince i met u in my life,i noe u were special to me...bcoz u were there when i was down n depressed..but last nite,u talked to me less...u know how i feel bout that rite...i was angry with u last nite,but now i have cooled down a bit...i just want u to know that i love u so much...everytime i keep telling u,but u sometimes ignore me...im nt blaming u....probably bcoz as the day goes by,u find more frens...i noe im a very boring person to talk to...im nt interesting,im nt fun,im nt enteraining.........but please dont do that again....last nit i felt terribly sorry for yself...i juz didnt show it...bt please forget bout it rite nw....coz i want to move on...pls forgive me if i have done any wrong...its u who always tell me nt to keep my feelings to myself so i let it out here...sorry for the harsh words i used on you...bcoz i couldnt accept it that my best fren juz wasnt there for me...its not ur fault...i noe u hardly go out frm ur hse...so when u see all ur frens here,u wanna have fun...so its nt ur fault...pls forgive me...i know in my life i asked u so many forgiveness...bt pls forgive me.......i will be alright in a few more days...its very hard to get angry with u coz u r my best fren n i love u....i've protect u in so many ways...do u even know that some of your close frens in our clas(boys) always think dirty of you...but i told him off one day...i shouted at him...he kept quiet...ididnt want to tell u this coz he is close to u....so wait ur relationship with him will loosen.....i've helped u so much in life...the other time,one malay boy(nt our class) also thought bad about u...i gave him a punch in his chest n just shouted at him.... i couldnt take it hearing all these bad stuff bout u.....he wanted to bring his gang n all...luckilly badrul was there to help me....even sometimes in staff room,gt lah one teacher,she once talk bad bout u,i argued with her..........my mom say i was rude to the teacher n when i went back home,my mom shouted at me.....i did it coz i cant help people talking bad but u............actually gt a lot more deeds i help u.....bt i dont want to tell u .......bcoz i HATE bragging bout things...i did it bcoz i loved u ever since the day u were my best fren.....so do u get me bout hw i felt last nite when u were nt that bside me the whole time...coz normally u will stay by my side n talk to me for a very long time...i tried to come n talk to last nit too...bt when i was talking to u,u were listening to other people talking....so i just left u there coz u were busy listening.....my whole point is that,pls dont do it again ever!!!! coz i dont want our friendship to b loose just l;ike that....pls msg me like u always do...i miss u a lot...n i love u so damn much.............bt all i noe in these 3 years,u have changed a lot......sha,im sorry k....i love u

This is the final straw...

today is the worst day ever for me....the only damn reason i was at the bbq was bcoz of her...just bcoz of her....i was there frm 7.16 till 11.05.....the only time she came n talk to me was at 9.43 n 10.36.....the 9.43 was when she came out of the hse after playing card games with the girls...n at 10.36,she came to collect the money n take A PICTURE with me...........im so bloody pissst off............kkx came at 8 something...n when he came,she just went n stick with him...take so many pics with him...go out walking nvr even ask me whether i wanna come or nt.....then she played 'heart Attack with them....its like i dont exist...im really hurt...really hurt..juz didnt want to show it...c'mmon lah...im her so called best fren rite...i was alone most of the time...nt once...NOT ONCE she came n juz have a chat with me....now i feel like the GREATEST LOSER of all time.....who is she close to? me or KKX? if its me,she should have just hang around with me n just have a gud chat............the pain was unbearable..my own friend...my VERY OWN CLOSE FREN ditch me just like that....no matter how i try to fix things...it still aint getting better...only one pic she took with me...just that one picture i took with her......................................................................................................of all my life i know a lot of people...BUT their best friend dont ditch them juz like that...so far as i see it...u should be close to ur best fren........i didnt even have the mood to eat yesterday....i couldnt just help myself to think that my VERY CLOSE CLOSE CLOSE CLOSE CLOSE FRIEND is doing this to me...........im still hungry....just to remember this in my life...im nt gonna eat the whole nite....juz for her sake i went to the bbq....n now im terribly hurt...really dissapointing.........i just cant...i just cant stand it....the fact that my fren didnt attend to me when i needed her BADLY...now i know what the meaning of true fren..if she was really a gud n my best fren,would she have done that...it may be the best time of her life...BUT ITS THE MOST SADDEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE...let fate decide this time on what will happen to us...rite nw im just so damn sad..i cant even eat anything...the reason i went back early was bcoz i couldnt take it already...........i just am frustrated rite nw...feel like cring to myself

today was an awesome day too...sha forgot to wake me up...haiz...but i gt up early ...was face booking the whole day...in the afternoon i rehearsed the song i was suppose to play...then i watched superhero movie...funny like hell...then again went to play my guitar but this time i played 3 songs
cry me a river
crush
the great escape
gt a little emo after playing the songs especially crush....then in the evening i went for a jog in my taman...covered 8.5 km within 35 minutes....its a fast time....then came back i did sit ups,push ups n weight lifting...gotta look gud for bbq....hahaha...no lah...i did it coz wanna stay healthy....then at nite,makan rice again...then sha msg me...she reminded me that she gt driving school 2morrow...bt i remembered it in my head...i asked her to sleep early wait she gt panda eyes...haahahahaha...steph oso gt undang2 test tomorrow...
sha sounded cute today when she message me....just the way i like it..cant wait to see her tomorrow...im gonna rock out like hell at the bbq...yes im gonna do just that...of course with my favourite girl,sha...i hope she dont ditch me again...n that applies to the rest too...BUT i dont mind lah..julz comin....i hope julz oso lepak with me...he normally like to take a lot of pics...i'll try to do that too...hahaha...gonna be an awesome day tomorrow...

nothing...

basically my shasha is my alarm clock...i hope she does the same too for me everyday...i love it so much...so thoughtful of her to msg me...today we talked on the phone...guess we're goin for the bbq....frm 12pm till 2pm i was playing my guitar-you'll be in my heart...i love the song.....practising the whole 2 hrs...then at 4pm i went out with mom to jusco rite up till 8 pm...went to popular to find stuffs...i saw jnerd...she didnt talk at all...probably busy working...ahahahaha...then went down stairs to get a pants...suppose to get a t-shirt at first BUT it was too xpensive......so i gt a BUM Equipment pants....nothing else lah....then went to the arcade all alone...mom went shopping for clothes...man she took 3 hrs shopping...i was getting bored so went to arcade n buat bodoh at there...then i went to delifrance to eat all by myself...then i went to giordano shop to window shop all by myself...ate at jiki....then came back home...shasha call me...telling bout the bbq thing n i msg her....that's all preety much bout my day....finally again im gonna meet her...wooooohhhhhhhoooooooooooooo!!!!!!!
hw nice if it was everyday...juz love her smile....sha,say cheese...... she's so cute....seriously,she is sometimes a bad ass...ooopppsss!! hahaha...but she is indeed a sweetheart...no matter hw much she annoys,she will always stay cute to me......nt me only but everyone too...i can write a 1000 word essay on her about her good things...she's just nice...she is one person in my life that i've ever known to cope with studies,family,frens,and ME.....she's awesome....three salutes to her..that's why i never regreted choosing her as my highschool sweetheart....love her lots.....ohh yeah one more thing,im gonna throw this stinking phone of mine n get myself a nokia express music 5800...i saw in jusco ady...i wanna buy it coz i wanna text u every blinking day...the phone i have nw sucks like hell...cant even msg with satisfaction....bloody phone....n i want to store most of ur pics in my soon-to-be-new phone.....hahaha...n im gonna save all ur msg in my inbox...so that if i go anywhere out of malaysia for studies,i'll always look at u n ur msgs.....sometimes thinking of u makes me cry...sometimes u just calm me down..thinking of u will nvr gt me in an angry mood...basically ur cute lah...thats why....hahaha....dont know hw im gonna live without u when i go overseas...i noe! u must go msn everyday n use webcam...if u gt no webcam,i'll buy u one before i go study...its a must for u to do that k....REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!! im sorry if u have to put up with my nonsense....im just learning bout life still...im just an ordinary guy,who plays music for a living,n love u a lot as my BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST fren.........forgive if i trouble u...BT thats the way it is...one day u're gonna have children n u're gonna tell this story to them...they'll laugh probably...bt i noe u wont laugh...coz u noe that it is very meaningful in your life that u have a close fren like ME!!!!

UniTen

today i went to uniten...it was a sudden decision..nt bcoz im gonna study there bt visit my dearly cousin,Narin, at his hostel....its huge man..the whole university is huge....then went to few relatives hse around the area...tiring...then stopped by at jejantas ayer keroh to have some meal...bought a nike t-shirt there.....rm99...it was blinking expensive...my grandma bought it for me n my cousin..kesian her..i refused bt she insisted me to get one....haiz....then ate at KFC...ordered twister combo...n the cheezy wedges was awesome...this time they put a lot of cheese...then reached melaka at 7.15 pm....went to have my bath,ate again....hahhaahaha...i love food...what can i say? then im still waiting for her sms....i wont sleep till i receive that sms...although im tired bt i will wait for it...i love her sooooo much...i dont care if i die..that sms is priceless coz it does mean a lot to me...just that 1 sms...i think she'll msg me around 10 something lah...me gotta wait...this is what she teaches me - PATIENCE! dont know what she did today n where she went...i hope she's having fun..she deserves it...she does a lot of hse work..n she watches only tv everyday...n she seldom online very long....so its hard to catch her these days...she talks less....bt if its her will then its ok....dont want to bother her...bcoz of me her telephone bill increases....kesian her kena scold by her dad...she is nt at fault...its definitely my fault...n here is why...its because my love towards her...i have this 'issue' whereby i always tend to be so close to people...bt i dont know what they will think of me in their heart...usualy people always fake their relationship with me..i hate that...bt so far i think sha is the best coz she nvr felt like that towards me before...that is why i love her so much...my ONE and ONLY pure-hearted friend...she treats me so well...due to this i always have nobody to talk to bside's her...she's awesome...i dont know what she thinks of me...whatever it is,i'll love her forever..just like i said...i'll love her until the day i die...she means a whole damn lot to me...n because of this i msg her always..n that is why she kena marah because bill will naik...that is why i dont want to trouble her a lot...if she wants to msg me,its up to her...no pressure...i dont want her to kena scolding...im sorry sha,i just love u that's y......dont misunderstand me...bt i'll always be waiting for your msg everyday...every single day i'll wait...wait for u...ONLY U! although u send me a short msg,i will trasure it for my entire life....she's an angel...i hope she really understands me,my heart,my love towards her...bcoz if it wasnt for her,i wont be who i am today...i remember in class where she will always sit by my side n advise me...she always gives this puppy dog face n she really mesmerizes me everytime...i remember i'll pinch her adorable cheeks...man i missed the days...i wish God would be ever so merciful to give me a chance to go back to the past n appreciate every single second with her...nw im broken...i cant move on without her..she know's it so well...that is why i always msg her until my phone finish credit...stupid phone...im gonna throw it...sha, i love u

if u find msg-ing me troubles u,pls dont coz i dont want u to get scolding frm ur dad...

love u my highschool sweetheart!

awesome

today was indeed an awesome day..i gt 49/50 for undang2....i really couldnt focus last nite...thnk u sha for forgiving me..i noe i have been harsh...still hoping to make things rite again...hahahaha...went futsal with my geng lama( karthik,benji,kamil,jason,hannan,thong,justin n vjay)...then went church..nothing happen...steph gt me a cake frm secret recipe due to her bday...we didnt talk much lah..i had to follow benji back...me n benji ate duck mee...awesome stuff...then lepak at dataran n watch movie...we watched Old Dogs...really cun movie...i wanted to tell sha,bt then she wanna go sleep ady..kesian her...she needed sleep badly coz she cleaned her hse...i'll tell her in the morning...then nw blogging n later watching football....hahahaha..

finally!!!!

finally she texted me juz nw morning when i was a sleep...i got up...was that so hard? i appreciate every msg she sends me...i keep in my inbox....she's just awesome...srry if i have been harsh on u sha....bt i just love u so much...dont ever do that again...thnx for wishing me gud luck...i'll keep my fingers crossed...u pray for me k....i hope im gonna get 50 straight for the test...

first?

finally the first time she didnt text me...i dont know wat to do..today 14 jan 2010..not even once she texted...she forgot me so fast...yup it shows that a promise is easy to forget...that is why whenever someone promises,one should think first before promising...its hard promising coz u need to have commitment...im sorry sha,bt this is the first time u forgot me...nt even a msg...remember what we promised?i just dont wanna talk bout it...each time..each time...each time i try make things gud,things do fall apart..i even reminded you to msg me each day when i run out of credit...she forgot...or maybe her dad forgot to pay her bills...its up to her to decide when she gives me the reason...if she lies than the relationship which i always dreamt of having,will crumble...im so sorry sha if i had hurt u...BUT u know i cant stand a day without talking to u...u know it n u.....im so sad rite nw...i really have no money in my wallet rite nw...RM 0...nt even a dollar...im flat broke..so i cannot top up...n this is what happens when my credit dies..arrgghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today went out for makan...finally gt out of my hse...best part i went out with sha...i loved it...i ate good food...chi-chatted a little...as usual i was left there figuring out wat they were saying...im used to that ady...go st john oso the same...go my class oso the same..go everywhere oso the same...its like im immune to it...sha oso talked less..probably coz she was interested with the other girls talking..i couldnt tell her there n there that i needed company...i just love her so much...she seemed happy with that so i didnt want to make it an issue..hw i wished that i could talk to her just nw as much as i could..bt its ok lah..the next time i'll talk to her if she is interested...or else i'll feel like a fool talking my part of the story n no one hearing it...ssometimes i feel that im the one always being left out...probably coz im a boring person i guess....must try to improve myself..bt it was so nice to see all of them...especially my sha...i was so nervous n anxious at first...bt when i reached yhere i found out that i shouldnt have felt that coz no one really cared...basically, im still boring...im sorry that i cant b like other guys whor so interesting to hang out with like gun or pun for instance...looks like i have to find myself a source of entertainment...my credit oso finishing..i dont know what im gonna do...i hope sha still msg me everyday telling bout her day n her plans...sometimes i feel like just breaking down..am i troubling her so much? its just that i cant live without her company...thinking bout it always makes me in tears..this blog is like for me to write bout my feelings for her...even if she ignores me sometimes,bt its still ok...she is a good fren...its probably just me causing trounle everytime to people....i just hope that one day i can just with her in a movie theatre n just hold her hands n watch the movie...only God know's right now hw i adore her so much....my friends called me crazy so many times coz 'll be texting her all day...bt i just cant help the fact that she is a close dearly sweetheart of mine...so many songs i wrote for her..poems too...if only someone could really understand the real meaning of my poems to her...she is still cute as ever....love u sha....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3z2kqJXMGc

all laughs....

haha...sha wat la u...no way i meant it for u...u r so gud to me...there's no way i'll do that to u....juz laugh out loud...XD....................bt i like it...u sound cute again although i noe u were serious...hahahha...i'll always msg things if i dont agree of..u chill k...ur hapiness is my hapiness....juz rock out...its cool that u have the chance to go chill with ur frens...mayb im a lil unlucky...i have no probs with u goin anywhere..i get the feeling that u r always bored at home...so forgive me if i had hurt u....love u always

i hate pple

i have this stupid thinking that each time my frens go out n me sitting at home doing nothing makes me real jealous especially when it involves someone i am close too...damn...bt ijust cannot say to the person...