im still trying to pick myself up after the incident...everyday finding new things to try..new things to do....we've been 3 weeks apart frm each other n still goin on...im still awake for my bloggie...nowadays gt nothing much to write coz she hardly talks bout herself...still picking up the pieces of loneliness...i read 3 big books on social life as a teenager...and this does happens...pple like me tend to get depreesed n sad often over small things..bt its who u are in the end that matters...friends are like a a tree..it will grow n grow n grow...bt that trunk remains one forever supporting the rest....i guess now that im learning more about life,..it has given me great opportunities to look for..greater perspective..i guess im maturing even more..broadening my mind set..seperating truth n fiction....seperating bad and evil..seperating love and hatred....its not just the mind that speaks..its the heart..when a heart tellsu what to do,u have to do it..like it or not....if its nt for her,i wouldnt be who i am nw....nw im venturing more to the outer world...giving myself chances after chances to correct my mistakes and shenanigans....life suck indeed only when u stop trying..if u keep on trying,thats when u never fail to learn....one thing that life has to offer me is tthat i have an amazing friend...yes we no longer keep in touch like we used to,BUT guess its just my bad luck...well...there are always many ways in to achieve that gold...as long she's around,it will b fine for me....

the world nowadays has changed..people see colour to love someone...well that is a fact n rather nt fiction at all...the white with the white..or the swan with the swan...just like an unending hymn of novelty that brought the word 'looks' ....yes looks can be deceiving BUT if u r well enough to be prepared,then life will actually fall on ur side just like a fallen leaf....gratitude is what u get of a fren like her..always there for u..and u know that u r always there for her...personally,its like a melancholic dram that nvr ends...sarcasm after one another......well that is life my friend..THAT IS LIFE...

if it gives u thorns,just take it...its thorns that will start your life...in reality,its benefits are even more........standing away frm her is a torture...sitting beside her is a pain...when u're away,u miss her so much till ur heart burns...when u're near her,u think of her feelings whether your presence is welcomed or not.....after all we are different bt one thing we share in common..our wits n blood are the same n meant for the same purpose....its a natural thing.....thats why im nt afraid to tell her i miss her coz i do and i know the consequences....thats what life can offer..and thats what u can take...seize the gold n reject the metal....if there's one thing in life that i could say is i love u shasha with all my heart...be there for u until the end of time even if death do us part...being ur friend is a blessing...thnx!

love n hugs,
mel

ALOHA, FIRST TIME BLOGGING WITH PHONE..DAMN HARD..SO I WILL WRITE 2MORROW..LOVE U A LOT..

today was ok lah....download a movie called 'the uninvited'...really nice movie...u cant guess the plot at all....its an ending that nvr can be seen...hahaha..creepy horror flick...then i was in fb all day...xercise today....man i've gt 4 packs...the other 2 is on the way..hahaha....im growing facial hair..plan to trim it 2morrow..life of a bachelor who is jobless at the moment...i did nothing lah basically...listen music..download music..play music..thats all preety much..i need ideas on hw to spend my day...really need help on that....oh n this sunday i'll be goin out for an outing..church excursion to dataran pahlawan for lunch..visiting some museum n then bowling at MP...plan to apply job at Brands Outlet in DP........hope i'll get it...looking forward for the xcursion though...me+julz+benji+ unc.D + the youths...sure gonna be gempak lah...esp. when april ' the mulut murai' tay is tagging along..hahaha....(no stephanie) dnt sweat bout it...hahaha...

my dentist appointment is 2morrow in the morning..changing my braces to a different colour....i'll b goin to church in the evening...n i hope my aunt takes me to the gym in the morning tomorrow...gt towork ut...sha says im fat n i gt belly..im gonna prove her wrong..hahahaha..love her so much....when the nxt time she meets me,she's gonna shock...hahaha.........planning to change my hairstyle too...still dunno wat to do yet...my pimples has decreased to 45%.....still gt marks all over my face..it can be removed soon...need to start a special care for face....n soon im gonna look different..bt my heart will forever be the same..FOREVER!!! fairness is nt an impossible thing..my face is brighter now (sweat!) hahaha....a bit only lah...my mood is different(trying to cope with the fact that i have to msg sha via fb only...) i think i wanna go for a gentleman look..(nt like azim at all)....more of a shane ward...(i noe its weird).....bt im nt gonna be bald or keep short hair....just wanna be charming...like a gentleman...coz i gt the height,have the rite body( i think i syok sendiri nw) n definitely have the music..hahaha....i can slow dance( oooo looking forward to dancing with u sha)....

my room is neat nw...i fold my clothes nowadays (wash them too)...trying to be a complete guy...let me check my list:

washing own clothes (done)
do hse chores (done)
music (have it all along)
sports ( hahaha..pls lah..i love sports)
being independent (done,went to so many camps..go concerts n perform)
dancing ( hell yeah..i love slow dancing)
height ( ok lah)
body size (still working on this one)
job ( aha..u gt me...still havent yet)
socializing ( nt bad lah)
communicating with pple ( aha..i do it often)
emotions (still working on that too)
style ( that depends...i have a lot of shirts n t's too.....so far all say i look good xcept julz,
my sis, and my ever idiotic cousins)
shoes ( i have sneakers,school shoes,sports shoes and hard leather shoes)
knowledge ( yeah bout this...haha..i think i have enough lah to be a gentleman)
relationships ( im nt married..just have frens only esp. my best fren)
religion ( surely!)
wealth ( im nt rich k..just an ordinary person trying to make a living and dream big)
hobbies( aha..gt lot of hobbies)
treating the ladies ( hahahaha...God knows hw i treat them...hahaha..love this so much)

*adapted from Forbes 2009: How to be a Gentleman in 20 Ways

hahahaha...still gt stuff that needs to be improved here....basically im nt ready yet..bt soon...i promise...just to shock everyone..i love surprises....

hey shasha...love u a lot k..still hoping to hear frm u everyday...if ur bill is settled..pls just send me a msg every nite..just one long gdnite msg....really hoping for it...keeping my fingers crossed...actually idnt know wat to write today...im blank so forgive me if i had been syiook sendiri..hahahaha...bt i do mean it..i want to change...

love u babes...
" a word cant describe relationship and compassion..a song cant describe feelings..only a heart speaks for itself that changes the whole idea of love that is kept close for a lifetime "

heart u always and forever.....

i will play music all day when you are by my side.............

mysweetheart

hahaha..today was a nice day for me...did nothing in the morning...watch tv non stop like hell..then internet too...as usual lah...then in the evening,i chatted wif manda via msn...then we remembered our flashback...all the truth came out after years...she broke up with me coz i was clsoe tos shahira....she told me that there was once when we were suppose to go to lab n i didnt wait for her...she said that i followed sha n didnt stay for her....i laughed..hahaha...i didnt knew it happened..hahaha..she told me that i became close to sha thats y she left me n went for ken...we gt a lil touchy juz nw while chatting...hahaha...then i kept on talking bout sha n she said stop it!!!!she dont want to hear anything more bout sha...i was like ok...somebody's getting jealous... and dear bloggie,today i've learnt a lesson in life..my life inw is awesome...gt a good fren which i know that she will nvr disappoint me at all..my one n only fren sha...and today i thanked God for giving me her...i closed my eyes n just thought of her n juz kept on thanking God....she's special to me...thats all i know....sha when are u gonna realize that u r my everything...its ok...i'll be there for u k...anytime anywhere....u can count on me...nw happy music is filling my head nw..nw u give me a better perspective to look at, sha...thnx for ur call... God is great..i was just thinking of u n u called me rite nw..haha...God is indeed great....thnk u a lot sha...still hoping to take u out for movies n stuffs...im gonna work n after my pay,im gonna belanja u..u must nt refuse it ok...im goin to work juz for us to go lepak...hahaha...we must go for swimming too...then go makan..then movie...then go shopping...i just wanna be by ur side...its a special thing to hang out with u...oh this only happens after i gt my license k...dnt worry,nt long summore....probably nw im more happy writing this coz im hearing new happy music..usually i'll hear sad songs n write blog...nw my whole selection of songs r totally different...just dunno y...bt nw when i think of u..i'll smile to myself n just go crazy....hahaha...sha,wat have u done to me? but i love this feeling...i shall call it the sha-ish feeling.....hahahaha......im happy sha...everynite i'll still text u as usual...dont have to reply to me when it is nt necessary k....

LOVE U A LOT......... (hearts n hugs) ------> my sweetheart